Knowing the rest of the moms had little ones without the benefit of someone to watch them, my favorite first-born vigil-buddy and I signed up for the 7-9 shift. We were there until 9:30 but we did have a cup of cocoa during and it wasn't raining so, by far, much better than last year. I was also privileged to share a rosary with a young mom of two boys whom I had met before, long ago. It's nice to touch base and share some prayer.
That being said, of 102 members, we got three (not sure about the third, actually, she was scheduled to arrive after I left). Regardless, you know where I'm going with this. True, many of the moms have little ones and didn't want to head downtown on an early,
Yes, I know. You don't want to expose your kids to abortion. OK. I will wait until they're in HS and have been through all the sex education classes at school. Will you come then? You don't want them to see the "violence" involved? Just so you know, the people with the aborted baby pictures are no longer present during 40 Days campaigns. Oh, yes, violence. Do they play any video game, by chance? Watch movies or TV shows? If so, maybe you should reign that in...or does "fake" violence count less than real violence?
Truthfully, I've never gotten that argument anyway. I think this is our fifth or sixth vigil and we have been verbally accosted exactly once. Yes, the act of abortion is horribly violent! While standing vigil I always thank God that I am peacefully outside instead of inside having my body ripped apart. Thankful that I can pray on the sidewalk and not have to view what's going on upstairs. Today I was standing with an amazing man and he took the brunt of one man's tirade from the other end of the circle. Chivalry is not dead.
I'm done with my rant. Now I'm going to be thankful.
This morning I got out of bed and dreaded the next thought. I did not want to get up. I did not want to pry my daughter out of her warm bed. I did not want to go to the vigil. The old people can go. The widows who have nothing better to do can go. I have other issues at hand. My life is hard enough.
I can't do that though. God knows that about me. I am so moved by the lack of empathy in our society and I feel so helpless. One thing I can do is go and pray and smile at passersby (only two mentioned something about "indoctrinating" my child...many smiled back). I can show God that this scourge is worth my inconvenience and my small amount of suffering. I want Him to know that I care.
So, we went. It turned out to be a chilly but bright morning. Coming out of the tunnel we were treated to an amazing sunrise over the river. We arrived and had our pick of spaces in the garage. Walking up to the vigil, we met our shift leader, Andy, who would be our prayer partner, entertainer and guard for the next two hours.
I have had a bad attitude lately. I apologize to you who are reading along and/or living through it with me. I'm tired of trying (and failing and trying again) to follow my faith when it seems like it's not really even required anymore. It's not a small feat to deal with all of these people whom I love so dearly. I would not return even one (nope, not even him) and I would welcome many more. That being said, it's an exhausting existence. Were I not doing it for the glory of God, I would have stopped long ago. Even with that, there are days (sometimes weeks) when it gets me down to be so "different" in our society.
So, back to my title. Between the wonderful discussions on the state of the Church with Andy today and our lovely leader, Nikki's blog yesterday about being "different" I have no doubt that God hears my cries and wants me to know there are others like me not so very far away. They may not have lots of little kids; they may not look the way I look; but they are there and they are fighting the very same fight that is bringing me down.
Don't you just love it when you can see the Holy Spirit at work? I am so unbelievably blessed.
Oh, baby Linus was born on Tuesday so now you can pray for him and mom Christine and the whole family so they can get the rhythm of a house of five. :0)