Thursday, April 3, 2014

Don't you just love it?

This morning the Catholic Moms group was scheduled for the 7-11 shift at 40 days. I knew this was a disaster going in. If I were not blessed with the world's best mother's helper, I myself would have said no (or, worse, tried to get everyone ready and down there by 7). Still, that's what the chooser chose and so that's what we had.

Knowing the rest of the moms had little ones without the benefit of someone to watch them, my favorite first-born vigil-buddy and I signed up for the 7-9 shift. We were there until 9:30 but we did have a cup of cocoa during and it wasn't raining so, by far, much better than last year. I was also privileged to share a rosary with a young mom of two boys whom I had met before, long ago. It's nice to touch base and share some prayer.

That being said, of 102 members, we got three (not sure about the third, actually, she was scheduled to arrive after I left). Regardless, you know where I'm going with this. True, many of the moms have little ones and didn't want to head downtown on an early, rainy (it was beautiful sun then actually) morning (could have come at 10). We are Catholic Mothers for crying out loud. If we're not pro-life why should anyone else even bother? If you are a mom of tiny ones that are hard to transport/reign in, I get it. However, if you have one or two who can sit in a stroller and the rest are off to school; where were you!!??

Yes, I know. You don't want to expose your kids to abortion. OK. I will wait until they're in HS and have been through all the sex education classes at school. Will you come then? You don't want them to see the "violence" involved? Just so you know, the people with the aborted baby pictures are no longer present during 40 Days campaigns. Oh, yes, violence. Do they play any video game, by chance? Watch movies or TV shows? If so, maybe you should reign that in...or does "fake" violence count less than real violence?

Truthfully, I've never gotten that argument anyway. I think this is our fifth or sixth vigil and we have been verbally accosted exactly once. Yes, the act of abortion is horribly violent! While standing vigil I always thank God that I am peacefully outside instead of inside having my body ripped apart. Thankful that I can pray on the sidewalk and not have to view what's going on upstairs. Today I was standing with an amazing man and he took the brunt of one man's tirade from the other end of the circle. Chivalry is not dead.

I'm done with my rant. Now I'm going to be thankful.

This morning I got out of bed and dreaded the next thought. I did not want to get up. I did not want to pry my daughter out of her warm bed. I did not want to go to the vigil. The old people can go. The widows who have nothing better to do can go. I have other issues at hand. My life is hard enough.

I can't do that though. God knows that about me. I am so moved by the lack of empathy in our society and I feel so helpless. One thing I can do is go and pray and smile at passersby (only two mentioned something about "indoctrinating" my child...many smiled back). I can show God that this scourge is worth my inconvenience and my small amount of suffering. I want Him to know that I care.

So, we went. It turned out to be a chilly but bright morning. Coming out of the tunnel we were treated to an amazing sunrise over the river. We arrived and had our pick of spaces in the garage. Walking up to the vigil, we met our shift leader, Andy, who would be our prayer partner, entertainer and guard for the next two hours.

I have had a bad attitude lately. I apologize to you who are reading along and/or living through it with me. I'm tired of trying (and failing and trying again) to follow my faith when it seems like it's not really even required anymore. It's not a small feat to deal with all of these people whom I love so dearly. I would not return even one (nope, not even him) and I would welcome many more. That being said, it's an exhausting existence. Were I not doing it for the glory of God, I would have stopped long ago. Even with that, there are days (sometimes weeks) when it gets me down to be so "different" in our society.

So, back to my title. Between the wonderful discussions on the state of the Church with Andy today and our lovely leader, Nikki's blog yesterday about being "different" I have no doubt that God hears my cries and wants me to know there are others like me not so very far away. They may not have lots of little kids; they may not look the way I look; but they are there and they are fighting the very same fight that is bringing me down.

Don't you just love it when you can see the Holy Spirit at work? I am so unbelievably blessed.

Oh, baby Linus was born on Tuesday so now you can pray for him and mom Christine and the whole family so they can get the rhythm of a house of five. :0)

So, guess which church was praying with us today? Yep, St. Teresa of Avila...I hear you loud and clear. Don't you just love it?

1 comment:

  1. I feel you on the rant...I do wish more people would make the effort. It *is* hard to get there with kids...but I think oftentimes, most of the benefit of my presence at 40 Days comes from my offering up of the sacrifice it takes to be there at all, more than the prayers I pray while standing there.

    As for exposing kids to the truth of abortion, I don't think anyone needs to explain the whole thing right away. I simply tell Sly we are there to pray for babies. And I'm surprised that you have witnessed a few heated comments, etc....I went to pray at the clinics many times in college - and a few times since - and I can't think of a single incident like that. Mostly people just left us alone.

    As for trying to follow the faith when it seems to be "not required anymore", we are *really* feeling the brunt of it when it comes to the issue of attending/not attending my sister-in-law's wedding, which we have discussed before. We still haven't figured out what we will do. Our options seem to be: compromise our consciences or tear apart the family...sigh.