Ora et Labora

Happy Feast of St. Padre Pio! Yes, he was a Capuchin but we are doing a lot of working and praying around here so I don't think he would mind...

First, the rosary. What a wonderful prayer...what a great way to help others as you beg Our Lady to guide you to her Son! After that, you can catch up on your St. Therese novena ;0)

Today also happens to be the Mass for the Canonization of St. Junipero Serra...the first on American soil! How blessed we are to be able to "join in" via EWTN (we watched Bishop Barron's keynote last night - fantastic!). Join us this afternoon at 3:30 EST. A great way to give thanks to God for his loyal servant who brought the faith to California.

He walked most of the way...

Today would also have been my dad's 85th birthday. Wow, that's amazing to me. Losing someone at 67 makes it hard to "fast forward" 18 years. My life now couldn't be more different...all in the best of ways. I can't help but know that he's working some things out for me from behind the veil. It is comforting to have someone I loved so much on the other side...makes everything a lot less scary.

I'm not sure whether or not my dad knew he shared Padre Pio's feast day. It is nice for me...especially now that it is also the day of Junipero Serra's canonization. My father was open to God's will (he did have five kids ;0)) and active in his faith. He passed it along to his children and, even if it doesn't always seem like it stuck so well, it is in our bones. I have felt it all along, even when I chose otherwise. I am grateful for his time spent showing us how to live the faith. Even without him here, his example comes to me often in my daily life of sacrifices and joys.

The Labora part is mostly fun...G is with Grammy, the kids are completing their math and history and reading together...oh and processing the pope's trip in art

"The pope visits the US Capitol" - note the difference in size (read influence) between the Vicar of Christ and the American Government. ;0) Good girl.

I'm prepping for our pilgrimage which is no real work. Today I'm making our go-to travel snack

Morning Glory Muffins (sorry, too much rushing...shaking this morning)

Mmmmm. Filled with coconut (see? we eat it sometimes) and pineapple and carrots. I think it's particularly appropriate now since it reminds me of this

written by Fr. Michael Gaitley, MIC...Marians of the Immaculate Conception, a ministry of whose happens to be the National Shrine of The Divine Mercy in Stockbridge, Mass. I can't make this up, people. God is that good ;0)

Heavenly Father, look on us, your servants, today. Obtain the intersession of your Saints Padre Pio and Junipero Serra to show us the daily way of living and witnessing to Your law. Give us the graces we need to suffer for you and show the good that comes from right prayer.

We are blessed!

Miss You

Today has kind of sucked. I know, I'm not supposed to talk like that but if you're letting your kids read my blog, that's sort of a discussion for another time. Anyway, if you care about it, read on.

1. On Tuesday, on the way to jury duty (say hello to juror #4!), an I'm sure otherwise kind and responsible man, stepped on my foot. Yes, that foot. The one with the torn tendon. So, today I met with the ortho and we decided that the surgery needs to come sooner rather than later. Like in the next month. The problem of where to put my five kids for four weeks while I don't put any weight on my foot continues (I'm not even thinking about the required stairs to get to a bathroom, bedroom, etc...I'm too depressed as it is). So, say some prayers, this is going to take one big bit of coordination. Where is the "village" that is supposed to raise my children? ;op

2. Today is also the 16th anniversary of my dad's death. I'm not going to rehash it. If you missed it last year go here. I was doing good today until I was on my way home from the doctor and the wave of grief just kind of washed over me. I stopped in to church to say some prayers because that's where I go when I am sad or happy. Alas, the cleaners were working all around in front of the tabernacle. Being an Adoration day, the chapel was filled to capacity. Sometimes you just have to go home and say your prayers from your bed.

Today I am missing several people. I'm missing my dad who has been gone for 16 years. Gracious that's a very long time. I was just 29 when he died. That seems like a lifetime ago. There are so many things, good and bad, that have happened in that time. I guess that's why I was crying today. So many situations that could have used him were left unfulfilled.

I'm also missing my two dear friends who have moved on from here. It's not like we met weekly or anything but I just felt more solid with them around. I felt like there were two people nearby that really understood what I was going through at any moment. Knowing that they are hours away just makes me sad today.

Thanks for letting me be sad. I'm thankful, as always, for my life and everything and everyone in it, trying as it may be at times. I am blessed.

Remembering

This morning's bulletin included the "Mass Request Form" so, since DH and I split Masses (sick little people) I had the chance to fill it out and turn it in on the same day. Score! With 10,000 people at a parish, you need to get in early to get your space.

This year, instead of just our usual July 26th request for the deceased members of both families I made a second request. August 20th, Bernadette Rocco. Yes, we named her Bernadette. It just seemed like the right thing, given the date and even better, the kids reminded me that we now have our "B" name to round out the first four letters of the alphabet. If we ever had "E" and "F" we could go all the way to "G"...never getting to "S" though. She is on her own ;0)

So, next year, we will gather and remember our little one. It will be good for us to be together and remember our trip - good and bad - and pray for our newest family member. It seems like the right thing to make it a public event so that our friends who prayed us through the trial can gather as well.

After that, we will remember in our hearts and maybe light a candle but mainly, that memory will be at rest. The little person we never got to know will be waiting until that day, God willing, that we see her again in another place. That is enough for me.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. This is another story altogether, as I believe it should be. Knowing someone for a few months is totally different than knowing them daily for 18 years and fairly often for 11 after that. My dad is not so easy to forget and for that I am thankful. He is in my heart but he is also in my children. That gives me the peace of knowing he is with me still. How blessed we are.

So, we will carve out time this week to tell the kids about their grandpa and to visit the cemetery to say "hello". It was so painful for so long. It's good to move past that and start remembering all the times before...the times when we were a family.

Happy Birthday, Dad. Hug that little girl for me ;0)

Getting over it...moving on

Today was the 15th anniversary of my father's death. When I think about that, it is mind-boggling. When I think about the changes in my life, the changes he never got to see, it gives me pause. Where I am today and where I was 15 years ago could not be more different. Still, I am the same fatherless child that I became that morning.

It is true that time heals...somewhat. When I was recounting that morning again on this morning to dh, I did cry. I didn't have the raw, seething pain that I did then. Still, I felt it. I felt the distress, the out-of-control sorrow that comes when you realize you won't again see someone on this side of heaven. The difference, I suppose, is that now I can come out of that feeling. I can move beyond that raw emotion and move back into my life routine.

How amazing that is to me. God's plan for my life is always a bright surprise. The puzzle that, in retrospect, makes perfect sense.

If I had been given these little ones 20 years ago instead of now, I would have had to come out of that place immediately and I would have done a lousy job. I would have caused them to suffer while watching their mother deal badly with the loss of someone dear. I probably would have made them wonder what would happen if the same fate befell them one day.

So, here we are, 15 years later. Instead of burdening them with my sorrow, my babies are a balm to me. This year was especially meaningful because I could look at my five children like my father probably looked at us...with some annoyance, much gratitude, and an infinite awe in God's power to work miracle after miracle.

I took #s 1, 2 & 5 to Mass this morning and we prayed for my dad. I have no idea what the two oldest pray when he is their intention. Still, I know that it would please him that we are here thinking of him. That, even 15 years later, his memory lives on.

I miss you dad. Thank you for everything.

Yet these also were godly men whose virtues have not been forgotten;

Their wealth remains in their families, their heritage with their descendants;

Through God's covenant with them their family endures, their posterity, for their sake.

And for all time their progeny will endure, their glory will never be blotted out;

Their bodies are peacefully laid away, but their name lives on and on.

At gatherings their wisdom is retold, and the assembly proclaims their praise.

 

Sirach 44:10-15