The little people around here have been in a slight funk as of late. In today's society it just reminds me that we are truly the oddest of the odd but it is almost like they are mourning the lack of a new sibling. It's not just about Bernadette either. We were on a routine. Every 18-21 months a fresh new miracle would arrive. Here we are at 28 months and nothing. I am trying to gloss it over as much as possible but I also want them to speak about their longing. After all, I have longing too. It's important that we acknowledge it and use that struggle in the best possible way.
So, today, we went and "did" things to change our pace a bit. Grocery shopping en masse (which means a trip to the "Eagle's Nest" and the video games that accompany it - we are so weird...#3 and #2 were bragging on the way out about who lost more games of Angry Birds...because they only see/play them there - cracks me up). Then we headed to the cemetery.
Usually we hit our family cemetery but, being one day from Bernadette's birthday, we went to the special place. I have mentioned before that we knew a family who lost a baby at birth and who then had to move far away because of a job. I feel so close to this situation. I left my baby in the care of someone else far away. I am so grateful for this chance. While it's not their sibling, the kids also get to visit someone else's sister who, I know they believe as I do, is playing with Bernadette in heaven (and Maria and Katrina and all the other friends). I like that thought. I can't wait to get there and join in the fun :0)
After placing our flowers and saying our prayers, we headed to the park. I laughed because even then the Holy Spirit was hard at work...while strapping G into his seat, a woman jogged by,
"Are they all yours?"
"Yes, they are!"
"Wow, God loves you"
"He really does."Just in case I was tempted to get bogged down in the sorrow that is losing a baby...a small reminder to cherish and give thanks for the amazing miracles that are here with us now.
So we spent the rest of the day at the park and the pool and got nice and worn out...too much so to think about sad things right now. Who could be sad, after all, with such an amazing gift of a day?
Tomorrow we will get up very early to attend Mass and spend the morning as a family. Praying and remembering. I will share the "birthday candle" that our precious friend lit for B at Adoration in the wee hours of today
We will give thanks for all the friends who are praying for us or remembering our little one as we are. We will light the candle we brought her from Slovakia and ring her bell, calling out to her in heaven; remembering the day last year when she moved from our earthly family to her eternal dwelling place. We will pray for all the families who have lost a baby before, during or after birth. We will ask Our Mother to comfort us all. Then we will move back into our lives and, while we never really forget, we let it take a place in the background of our routine. The gifts of today are so fleeting. We should bask in them while they are with us, always grateful for our intercessors in heaven.