Full-disclosure/girl-stuff moment...I am extremely anemic right now. My favorite Bible passage is Luke 8:40-48 because, while not 40 years, I can say I've identified with the woman in a big way for at least the last 25. I love pregnancy because it means no periods for a year...hurray! That's not the case today. Today is a day when I need an iron shot or, more truthfully, a blood transfusion.
Digression over...just trying to set the stage. We spent most of the morning searching down library books needed to write reports and by the time swim lessons came around, I was exhausted. We made it through that (thank you car video and Pocoyo!) and came home. It's Wednesday...
Our church has holy hour every Wednesday. If you've been reading the blog, you know I always find some good stuff at holy hour. Tonight, even in my exhaustion and dragging two tired little people along (the others were well-behaved...minor miracle), the grace was flowing.
I know this because as we pulled up I heard drums...and amplified guitar. The church next to ours is fond of this type of worship. Let me say I don't even like Festivals of Praise because Adoration, to me, is silent (or as silent as little people can be...I'm good with chatting about Jesus in the Monstrance or saying a Divine Mercy Chaplet...nice, right? Drums? Not so much). When we entered the church we were good because the rectory serves as a block to most of the rock church next door. Problem solved.
Except for the neighbors on the other side...Crossfit moved in a few months ago. Let me say I have nothing against people working out. It's a good thing. If I have a few childless moments and have planned ahead, I too like to indulge in a little physical activity. The
They don't care of course and usually it drives me a little to distraction. Today? Grace. Complete and total Grace. I heard it, I felt it and I had no reaction at all. I looked at the Monstrance and thought, "I'm where I need to be". Father furthered that idea in his homily which I enjoy because sometimes I think I'm just wandering alone out there.
Somewhere in the "quiet time" of the hour, I looked toward the Tabernacle. We have a beautiful space to house our Tabernacle.
Well, tonight we sat in the right section in the back and when I looked up I saw the Tabernacle completely but only God's right hand and arm and the right hand of the Blessed Mother. For the next few minutes my eye kept being called back there.
I feel like most days (certainly today), that's my life. I'm not a Fatima kid or a great Saint. The visions of God and Our Lady are not mine to enjoy in this life. Still, the grace I receive is enough to remind me that they are there, leading me. Their hands are clear to me (except on those days when I have to walk completely with faith...thankfully they are few lately) and enough to keep me walking toward the goal. I know, earlier in my life, it was probably more like the tip of one finger and I am grateful that I held on in that precarious time. I know now that the Tabernacle in full view is what allows me to walk with certainty on more days than not. He is pushing me as His dear Mother and Our Father guide me. What an amazing blessing to have. What a gift of grace...and dearly needed in this life.
Father talked about the joy of having our crosses to unite with Christ's. Tonight, in my state, having an extra 40+ pounds push my tailbone most uncomfortably into the wood of the pew...that's about as clear a sign as any I can hope for in this life. I prayed hard and thought of all the intentions for which I could offer the pain only, in God's goodness, to be rewarded at the end of the service with the realization that I had been holding my very own cherub during that most difficult time.
Laus et jubilatio,
Salus, honor, virtus quoque
Sit et benedictio:
rocedenti ab utroque
Compar sit laudatio. Amen.
And the Son Who reigns on high
With the Holy Ghost proceeding
Forth from each eternally,
Be salvation, honor, blessing,
Might and endless majesty. Amen.)
We are blessed.