Lord, who throughout these forty days

Today begins the 40 Days for Life vigil to end abortion. I encourage you to do whatever you can to end this scourge in our society. I'm not even going to get into why you should. Sometimes it's enough to know it's the right thing. If you don't think it's the right thing, let me ask that you at least pray (and if you don't pray, think) about it. Try, for 40 days, to open your mind and heart to the possibility. See what happens.

For us, well, for me, this vigil seems different. I'm not sure why exactly. I know it is partly because I'm feeling depressed these days and 40 days for Life (despite the name) does nothing to lift that sadness. If anything, it makes it worse. Worse because of the people I know I will see at the vigil - people taking their daughter/girlfriend in for an abortion, people who think we are "religious nutcases" because we are praying with our family, people who don't care about it at all and do nothing.

I'm going to try to get out of my current state and, if I can't, at least I will have more to offer up. I have realized that depression is one of those isolating things...no one wants to see or hear from you when you are depressed. It's not fun to be around. I don't want to be around anyone either so that works out well for me. Thankfully Our Father, who created and knows all about us, can walk with me when no one else wants to. That is an amazing gift.

Sorry to digress. I was trying to say that the 40 Days for Life vigil offers many ways to contribute to the cause. The two main pillars are fasting and prayer. I would encourage you to do both, if possible. I'm not a "fast every day" kind of person (DH gives up evening snacks during this time) so I sign up for specific days to do liquid-only fasts and concentrate on praying the rest of the days. I will try to warn you ahead of time in case I seem overly grumpy on a fast day - totally contrary to the purpose, I know, but I'm human...I'm doing my best (Friday is the first one) ;0)

Fasting can be many things, however, and I think I will concentrate on that these 40 days.

1. I am trying mightily to fast from letting my current state interrupt our lives. Sometimes I just need a day off but it really isn't fair that 5 other people sit around and watch tv because I feel like napping. So, I'm offering that up and carrying on with our program as much as possible.

2. I am fasting from worry about 40 Days for Life. Sometimes I find myself dispirited by the lack of participation among parishes, moms groups, pretty much everyone that should be totally behind this movement and just fail to show up. When we attended Mass at Notre Dame the priest had a brilliant homily -he said we can speak about right and wrong and try to educate people but judgement comes when we assign a motivation to someone without knowing if it's true. Since I don't know why people aren't coming out, I guess I'll just pray that they can do so in the future or that they are doing things other than standing vigil. Sometimes, since we have done it for several years, I forget that it's not the easiest or most comfortable thing. I don't think that should be a reason not to go but I need to be more understanding of those who aren't where we are. I pray they are doing what they can.

3. I am fasting from worry about other people in general. There have been a few instances in my life where people I have known a long time seem to just be flaking out. I could spend my evenings thinking about what I may have done/not done to cause the difficult behavior but, really, that is driving me nuts. I'm going to consider this a cross and, as much as I might like to, I'm not going to read blogs for clues or sit and stew about it. Instead, I will offer a rosary or some other prayer that I might see more clearly the situation and make amends if I need to or at least help them through extra grace.

How does any of this help abortion? Well, I think when I clear my mind of the fluffy stuff, the things that aren't essential but which take up the abundance of my time, I'm more free to concentrate my prayer, my sacrifices and my time to pray that God's will be done in our nation and world. I've realized that nothing is going to happen with abortion in a rapid manner. I think we're in this for the long haul. We may as well acknowledge that and pledge our commitment. What an excellent exercise for ourselves and our families to work on patience and perseverance.

Blessings to you. Hug your kids and say a prayer that others will choose to do the same. Go to http://40daysforlife.com/ and sign up for the updates, make a pledge, go and pray, fast, whatever you can do. Thank you.