Let me steal some material from our visiting priest for a moment...If you ask someone where to find the above quote, what would you hear? A book of Proverbs, the Golden Rule, etc...doubtful it would come from Matthew's Gospel. Yet today, that is exactly what we heard. (If you don't believe me, click the "G" on the Mass readings doohicky on the right...
So, I've been thinking about this statement. How would I like to be treated and do I treat others in this way? I like to think so. Some of the time.
I do try to find the good in things and lift up people who are hurting. I will acknowledge I'm not much of a cheerleader for those who are already "up". I think it's because I know that society will always have ample praise for them. I'm trying to help those along who might be without a cheering section. There are many days that I fail at this. Still, I'm trying to persevere.
Society...yes, I opened the door. Please excuse if this turns into a rant. Just the way I'm feeling at the moment. I will do my best to curb my enthusiasm.
When I say "most of the time" the rest of the time is when I feel squelched by society or I feel that others refrain from doing unto me because of the current societal norms.
First example. We're on a playground (I have five kids for those of you who just joined us. Four of whom could qualify for the next scenario) and one of my kids is being less than playground friendly. They're not sharing, pushing, whatever. What do you do? What I would like you to do is step in and tell them that's unacceptable. If you don't "feel comfortable" with that (sorry, I detest that phrase) then please bring it to my attention. I am mortified that this seems to be inappropriate now. I'm not asking you to raise my kids but I am asking you to help me have examples with which to teach them. Please don't let me miss a golden opportunity.
Next, adult friendships. In my opinion...true friendship involves an intimate level of sharing (see my post about Facebook). Such a level requires confidence and expectation. By that I mean you should be able to share something in confidence and expect that it goes no farther than that person. Also, you should expect that your friend, if s/he is a true friend, will lovingly call you out when your behavior is inappropriate or when your thoughts are faulty.
This, from my experience, is quite rare these days. I have had these types of relationships in the past but now it seems that expressing a constructive criticism or an alternate viewpoint (or receiving such) is very unwelcome. I think that is sad. How are we to grow as people or in relationships if we don't know our shortcomings? Are we so touchy as a society that even our "closest friends" cannot accept a word of correction? Ug.
I want people, especially my friends and family, to gain their eternal reward in Heaven. I would hope that they want the same for me. Feel free to correct me now and in the future. I promise I'll try to take it well and not be offended. To anyone who has been subject to my constructive criticism, I promise it was given with the most loving of intentions even if it didn't sound that way at the time.
Sue, I really, really struggle with this. I see kids being mean to my kid or ignoring her, and I just tell my kid to walk away or that it's time to go. I don't have the guts to say something to other kids. But I also am not sure when it is appropriate/significant enough to bring up.
ReplyDeleteI am working on a blog post about this (though not exactly). I hope you consider stopping by and weighing in. I really value your opinion as a parent and a person. You are one the "good people" I look up to and strive to be like.