Reflections on 52...

I won't put up a Grumpy Cat meme...I'm older and more mature now ;0)

Part of being old is having time (although not more quiet, really, not here) to reflect on things. I think, having passed through a slice of 2019 and the majority of 2020, I have three things that have been ruminating in my brain. 

Thoughtfulness

Unfortunately, no, that doesn't mean more gifts and treats for friends and family. I'm amazed, actually, at how much more I did five years ago - driving through snowstorms to deliver St. Nicholas cookies, parties, kids' activities. 2020 sort of blew all of that out of the water. Secretly, I'm not that upset by it. This year, along with many negatives, has given me time to just sit and ponder...and more often than not discuss with my dear husband who is always willing to hash through a topic or two. 

You may have noticed there hasn't been much writing here; I think that's part of it. There has been a lot to consider these days and I don't find much time to rehash it online. Still, perhaps this is as good a time as any...

This was taken on February 29, 2020, at a local Adoration chapel in the wee hours of the morning. Leap day seemed like a good one to spend some time with Our Lord in the monstrance and check in about what was happening in the world. Looking back, it was a good picture to keep in my mind's eye. Regardless of how much trauma or drama is swirling around, remember Who is above you and what He did for you...step back and reassess your perspective. 

I suppose, a few weeks later, when everything shut down, this might have been why I managed to exhibit more calm than I had expected. Granted, it was early and everyone was still behaving themselves. It would get worse...

That's where we are now, people behaving badly, but I'm still trying to sit with that perspective. The only thing/person that matters is Christ. He died so that we could be saved and wasting that gift on any worldly nonsense is just that...lacking sense. These are days that require many times thinking before we speak, regardless of what society and social media say. The behavior on display and the acceptance of it, even from otherwise right-thinking people, makes me kind of sad. So, I'm trying to stay away as much as possible. I get that people can pop on and off of FB without problem. It's never been me. It's a time-suck and especially now, in "little Lent" and specifically on "Gaudete Sunday" that's no place for my joy. 

My joy is here where I live. These living, breathing, singing people and grunting, moping teens. I will take them any day because they are mine...they are God's gift to me and, wow, what an amazing haul! Not because we're Pinterest perfect in any way but because we're working together, in the family God made for us, to draw closer to Him and to one another. If we learn love here and know that it is never changing within these walls, we can go out and risk loving (even when we fail) because we will have a soft nest in which to land.

Make no mistake, there have been some negative reactions to closing down and regrouping for a while. Kids, even those with a built-in companion system, want to be out and "among their people". I guess, more than anything, the later days of the pandemic have caused us to rethink who exactly our people are. Everyone decides for themselves and for their family. We will do the same. The next topic has made that sooo much easier for me. 

Update

So, I was off being thoughtful again and I didn't even write down #2 and #3 before I left and, being 52, I can't remember, so I guess you'll have to be happy with Thoughtfulness. I think that's good because, guessing at #2, it's never going to come off as anything but Karen on the page and that's not what I want at all. Everyone makes their own decisions, our family included, and sometimes that's good and sometimes that hurts feelings and, well, see above about "wasting that on any worldly nonsense."

It's been nearly 6 weeks since I turned 52...time definitely moves faster on this side of the hill. There is so much turmoil in the world today, I know. Still... try to look for the Good. See God in His creation. Know that He will bring so much good from the trials that He permits. Don't give up and don't lose heart. Our Lady, St. Michael, and St. Joseph are surrounding you and they hear you. Never stop asking for their help.

We are blessed.