What my kids teach me

I've never considered myself to be all that learned, especially in the ways of the world. I'm kind of glad for that, now that I have children. I think, during the moments when I am open to them, it enables me to learn all sorts of amazing and interesting things from these little people.

1. Patience - Anyone who has a two-year-old (or many in succession) has realized the importance of learning this early. Unfortunately, I am still a work in progress but it is more clear to me each time I need a refresher course. Thankfully these four never fail to provide an opportunity.

2. Vocabulary - Today's phrase is "sandal gap toe". I know, I had no idea either. Well, in case it comes up the next time you're on Jeopardy!, it's an extended gap between a person's big toe and first toe (like where the flip flop thing goes) and it's a "soft marker" for Down Syndrome. If nothing else, this pregnancy will make me even more fascinating at parties!

3. Acceptance and Unconditional Love - Since finding out about #2, I felt it might be time to introduce the idea of a baby with Downs to the two oldest kids. I said "the baby may look or act differently" instead of saying Down Syndrome so my 4-year-old son said, "oh, like Peter's hand!" (A classmate has a deformed hand that they spoke about in class a few weeks ago, to clear up any curiosity or confusion). "Well, that's OK, I will love my brother or sister just as much and if anyone makes fun of him/her I'll say 'robber, get out of my house'!" Not sure what the last part means but it sounded very endearing - like a good big brother defending his younger sibling. My 6-year-old said, "Of course we'll love the baby just as much, every life is a gift from God".  I am pleased that some of the things we talk about seem to be getting through. I am humbled that it is so simple for little people to see it so clearly. I am shamed by them for my lack of trust and faith.

4. The Importance of Brothers and Sisters - Being the last of five, I already knew this at some level. Still, I cherish those moments when I get to "peek" at some or all of them huddled together doing something. The whispering among them is just beginning and although it's intimidating sometimes (there are more of them than me!) it's still so wonderful to see them sharing things and working together. Even when they're demonstrating the worst that sibling behavior has to offer, I get a bit nostalgic. I know that the bonds I am watching form will last their entire lives.

Enjoying (almost) every moment...

My dear friend sent me an article today. It made me laugh out loud and really think about the way things are around here. Perhaps it will help you too, which is why I'm sharing ;)

Don't Carpe Diem

It is an odd thing to me when people say "enjoy - it goes so fast". I do understand that it goes fast and yet there are days that seem to stretch on for a lifetime. The good thing for me is when a day has a really memorable event. A shining moment that makes the rest of the just OK or downright difficult day seem worthwhile.

Last night after baths I suggested that we say a family rosary before watching a show. I was completely at peace with not fighting because I was exhausted. If the said "no" it would just be a story then bed. To my shock and awe they (being the two oldest) knelt down and proceeded as if they did it every day. The younger two went in and out but caused little disruption. This was such an amazing event in our household that my husband said "where have our children gone?" later that night.

Such grace-filled moments are what keep me moving forward and what remind me that this is a vocation, not just a temporary gig. God clearly invented variable reinforcement. I never know when one of these "bright" moments will come along so I just keep moving forward, always pleasantly surprised by my next reward.

Then there are "wow, this does go fast" moments. They are harder for me to grasp since I seem to always have a new little chubby cherub floating round. Still, I know that will also pass one day. So, I take great joy in little things that flashback to when someone was smaller and I am awed at the rapid passing of time. Looking at my four-year-old's hands, I still see the short, dimpled fingers that were there a few years ago. When I'm in a room with just the two oldest, I realize there was a time (if a short time) that it was just them. Lately, when I'm drying my oldest's hair, if I pull up the side at just the right angle, I still see the curve of her jaw that was here...

and she's back to being my only baby.

So, I'm trying to stay positive and not wish away the Chronos time while relishing the Kairos moments. Both are necessary to this life. Without one, the other would not be nearly as spectacular.