Screech...

I was thinking about a tire, then I looked it up to check the spelling and saw the definition:

(of a person or animal) give a loud, harsh, piercing cry.

then I realized, it's a perfect title. So, this first...a recap of some of the last month+

5 weeks of practice then a really wonderful brass camp

my tiny one's prescription for my whining...he's right

we headed across the state to NJ to visit "great" uncle Frank...he's 92 and alone in the world (he has two nephews and a niece...we're the closest) I'm not complaining, at all, about visiting him. I so wish he lived closer. It is so good for all of us to spend time.

he is a dear man

we even had a pseudo-picnic on the turnpike

before U.F., we got to our first game of the season (yes, it was hawaiian night!) we didn't see any baseball. the clouds opened about 15 minutes later.

but it was a great field and the kids meals were served on frisbees ;0)

we've also been looking at houses...many, many houses

some with really, incredible outside space

so, dh& i have begun tearing apart our house...in hopes of selling it for a bit more

down come the plaster and 100-year-old lath

dirty, dusty

difficult job...but, in some ways, cathartic

 we also started school...

hard for me to believe, really

last year of middle school...amazing.

There are many days when I ask God what He was thinking, giving a 40-something five little ones to raise. I will be 50 in just over 4 months and it's crashing down - I don't have the stamina, mental or physical, that I did in the past decade. It's really, really trying around here lately. Something needs to change (or, in His love for me, God will make it change). So, I will do my little bit to draw everyone back to where we need to be...

Starting with me. It's always a fight to get "my time" around here. My kids, thanks to God, come to me for help with almost everything. That's not a bad thing, in itself. I'd rather they turn to me first. Still, they are all capable of staying alive, on their own, for at least an hour (and maybe even more!). It doesn't allow me time to leave and go to the gym but I have begun to disappear to "do work or read" for that short amount of time. I think that's helping us all. 

Lately, I've begun to read the most amazing book, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child. It's a satire so sometimes my head hurts trying to remember that it's backwards from what it's supposed to be. When I keep it straight, it's really a balm to me. I don't usually turn away from the Bible and Saints for advice but this is what I need at the moment. Just gentle reminders of how I was raised and how it's important now, even if everyone else in society (including those closest to me) say otherwise. So, we'll start again...

walking to a neighbor's home to get some exercise

and spend time with someone who we love very much

impromptu backyard carnivals

I love the thought that they're working together

and creating memories without my directions

family bingo - making a comeback!

and library visits when the weather is bad

There is so much more I need before I can approximate equilibrium around here. Listening to EWTN while I work on this allows me to catch snippets that the Holy Spirit will open my heart to at that moment. Returning to Adoration at least once per week will give me that quiet time with Our Lord to help focus my heart. Daily Mass whenever possible (always with the little ones and hopefully dh on occasion) will bring the grace we need to live together and work to know His will for us. 

It is a veil of tears on many days but it's not hopeless. Dealing with aging, coupled with kids growing at a mind-boggling rate is humbling. Living within a Church that is stained with sin, sometimes as much as the outside world, is something we can't overcome without God in our daily lives. If you feel your life spinning out of your grasp, join me. Let's go back to God first and see if our attitude doesn't change, even if our lives can't at the moment. God is so good and He is always waiting to give us rest. 

We are blessed.